I know it is from December though. Thank you so much for your words, Natasha. 1. She left him on delivered and he never said anything back. I want you to know youre not alone and please dont ever feel you are. Ive read many articles on this subject but was never able to look at it from a different point of view. To say I was devastated was an understatement I was emotional in my texts back to him but never insulted or anything. We have been together for a year and three months prior. Last year, on December 24, 2019 I was dumped by the marshmallow of a man. Told him that yes I woukd be, that being told a stranger means more to him than I do doesnt just go away overnight so I doubt I woukd be sleeping. Im sorry you are going through this, but I am happy to know that you have chosen to check out of the dysfunction of your ex and to focus on your own life. I saw that my picture was gone from his phone screen saver. Dont buy into hes a better guy or girl now that they are no longer with you or living some fabulous life of happiness no matter what the hell they post on social media. A few days later I realised it was silly to do that because essentially all I wanted was a label but even without the label of boyfriend we were still behaving as though we were. I thought I had a beautiful 3.5 years committed and loyal relationship and finaly found love of my life. Which helps in a way because now I need to focus on me xx, Dolly, I feel you. To be true to themselves, even though the transition period can be painful. Youve got this, soul sister. Im so happy that this post helped! Should you feel shame for even asking these questions? In fact, he admitted that he would have no reason to be hurt, but he cannot take it. Even the small, or shorter relationships can hit us bad when WE put in the effort and get so love bombed and we believe, wow, maybe this time its real, and then out of no where weird shifts start happening, and we sense it. I know that this can be so painful, but it is also another indication that your ex was never emotionally competent enough to communicate with you prior to saying good bye. This is one of the best articles I have read on this subject. You will be waiting for someone who could not provide you with consistent love when you were in the relationship with them, to consistently miss you so much out of the relationship that they will undergo a personality transformation, see themselves as a party who has wronged someone else, and consistently follow through with anything for the first time in their life. I didnt think he ever missed me, until he would play with my mind like he would talk to me one day and then for a while treat me like Im not there at all. He was great at painting a future of us. Im trying just to concentrate on myself but recently moved to a new place and Im trying to get used to that too. Yes stop yourself looking at social media, I know how hard that is though, I battle with that everyday. So happy to see this comment. I said I couldnt talk to him at the moment and I waited a week before I could talk in the group chat, after I came back, he totally acted like a stranger to me like I didnt even exist. True change take TIME and a willingness to be honest with ourselves about who we are and who we have become. I said I thought you were seeing someone. Often random jokes late at night. I believed all his lies and now Im devastated and feeling like I meant nothing at all. I was romanticizing the happy memories. I know its been a year since you posted this comment and I hope you have been doing well since. ?? You don't need anything from them and you are just enjoying your own life after the breakup. Yeah Ive had break downs at work and I know that feeling when it hits. He apologized and promised up and down it didnt mean anything, he only wanted to be with me, he missed me, etc. we are all here for you. Other times, it suggests that you are more likely to be attracted to emotionally unavailable/ego-driven people because of your past history/trauma/other experiences. keeping track of thoughts . He just wish me a happy new year. I have felt that way about so many of Natashas posts. So now Im no longer messaging him, I felt I was just feeding his ego. 5. You got this. All they are looking for is an ego boost. Thank you so much! Until he once again, attempts to get emotionally intimate with you, realizes he has the same defenses, and devalues you all over again. Politics latest: Deputies standing in at PMQs as Sunak under fire for saw each other 3-4 times a week. I love seeing this love and support! Its likely that emotionally unavailable/narcissistic/toxic people do miss people who used to be in their lives, but in a much more self-centered, temporary, and inconsistent way. No contact. But the next month when my friend started playing with us, he acted like the same old cold b**ch to me, but really lovable to my friend, and thats when after that he texted her. If you can get through NC it shows that you have the discipline to remain logical! I had been sad but Ive kept no contact. Wasnt sure what was going on, he stopped responding to messages. Im so sorry youve had to go through this all and Ive definitely been there myself. If your ex is a radio silence operator during the no contact period, this does not mean he or she does not want to be with you. My boyfriend left me a month ago and slowly stopped contact and then completely ignored me. By completely ignoring them and not contacting them for a while, you show them that you aren't needy. Being missed brings a lot of reassurance, but over-emphasizing this can breed more insecurity. I knew it was mutual but he always made excuses whenever I would bring up dating. This quiz will also give you a detailed, in-depth analysis of his thoughts and how you can improve on your weaker points. If he doesnt, he looses the connection. Please know you are not alone. Providing an ego high, even when you sincerely love someone and get them will never help you feel seen, heard, or safe because you will never perceive the little attention you do receive back as unique to you. There was a girl who used to text him often from work, and while he was not in the least secretive and showed no interest while we were together, she was persistent in contacting him. Thank you so much for writing. The magical thing about some people is that they can look at themselves and their patterns and breakthrough. Im so happy that the posts have helped Keep staying on your white horse. It's not something he plans for and then makes a big deal about. I think thats one of the beautiful things on the path to healing to recognize how hard it is to break our patterns. Dear Stefanie, Thank you for sharing your humanity, your vulnerability and your experiences. Maybe in a nostalgic mili-flicker. Imagine this. Be kind and careful with yourself, but please also look for it it will be there for you whenever you are ready to see it. Neither are you. I had no choice but put my tail down and walk away like a dog that got beat up and kicked out. Im just going to say YOU ARE RIGHT. First thing's first - for a guy to miss you after a breakup, you need to give him some space. He never said he was right to be offended. It wasnt right of my friend since she didnt tell me earlier but I forgive her since she told me the truth, and it was her first time dealing with those kind of things, now she currently hates him and regrets her past. It doesnt matter whether he is alone, partnered with someone who lives in a garbage can, or is posting pictures with someone who looks like a Victorias Secret model. I cannot contact him I am blocked and wiped all over the places, and honestly there is no point. He is a sad, broken, human who uses everyone for whatever current emotional or physical crisis he is in and then tosses them aside like trash in search of new victims. He says he misses me but does he mean it? (12 signs to - Hack Spirit Im in a similar predicament but I havent yet sent the text. But anyways I just wanted to explain my thoughts when I said that Im not sure if he even knows that he did wrong things to me. So much love to you! ESPECIALLY if you cut him off. It does not have to be a necessarily grand gesture the likes of which you see in books and movies. Going no contact with this ex will make them miss you, think about you, and regret missed opportunities for the ego highs he used to get while with you. YOU are so courageous and REAL: YOU have done the work to put in a change for yourself to stay away from toxic people and to put faith that there is better for you ahead. Thank you. I hope that your new place gives you a feeling of having a fresh start. I saw him online and I wobbled. What you are doing is inspirational, and I wish you much peace as you go forward. If you're wondering, find out now! Me? These are such wise words. Ukraine war latest: Kremlin denies China warned Putin - Sky News As you may well know, doling out ego highs will inevitably make you feel like you are weak and disposable. Stay on your white horse! Pull away a bit and leave him be when you sense him reaching that point, thus giving him a chance to miss you. He did the text check in thing a few months later to get that ego hit then essentially ghosted me thereafter. No, it can also be for the briefest of moments, but they will be insistent on meeting up. Sunday evening I sent a message that I sensed distance and I wanted to help. He gave me that hope.. (Vice versa) Do future fakers miss their ex? So I tried not to get involved. 3. We flirted for 3-4 years and finding each other later seems like a fantasy meant to be. You are visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future who gives you a glimpse into your exs life, several years from now. This will again inspire a stirring of that familiar vague hope that you ARE actually THE ego trophy that will make his self-esteem skyrocket for life. When you see him, you feel a rush of familiarity. He then said he felt like I was throwing away something great by not being cool with him dating others. CAN A SERIAL CHEATER CHANGE? I truly needed to hear this. I love you. Please know that we are supporting you along the way. I dont think he ever thinks about me maybe in the way that i am glad I am not with her, so I dont need to deal with her problems. It can be so confusing when someone who is wonderful is suddenly exactly the opposite of that. I tried to ride it out and stay consistent but he finally told me a few days ago he was bored and wasnt feeling it anymore. I did a lot of self care and love for the past months and I felt like I was at a good place until two weeks ago when he text me, saying that he missed me. I am *so glad* that this post served you. PS My favorite part about being an adult is that we are all able to choose our own family. So eventually, he said hes in a confused situation where everything is so hard and cant focus on us. If you dont ground yourself with this reality, you will waste your precious and only life. I think he was, at times, the best he could be and I tried to help him sustain the moments to no avail. I cant tell you enough how much I relate to this! I forgave, tried not to think about what happened, but it was hard. Then five months later, when the pandemic hit, I didnt hear back from him one night. He said I complained too much, and if I was a simple girl we would be with me. He was friends with his ex and from past experiences I didnt feel comfortable..